Warning: Foul language to follow... When I have emotional breakdowns, swearing and mean things come out of my mouth (in this case, typing) in order to compensate for crying.
It has been one of those days that I should have stayed in bed. When nothing is fitting right and my closet ends up on the floor, calling in to work in order to take a personal day is the smart choice. But I don't go for the smart choices. Not today.
Workplace politics, people choosing to not do their jobs, endless complaints with no intent to action plan or change, bullshit gossip, power struggles and measuring each others' cocks. That's my average work day in a nutshell. Today I wasn't strong enough to deal with that shit. It took all my energy to not spazz or break down in tears.
A phone call from a colleague informing me of a presentation that I must do next Tuesday. Say, what?! No. I have an exam and an insane high caseload, I don't have time to prepare for an "informal" presentation. Nothing is informal when a non-doctor, college grad has to make a presentation to a group of doctors. Fuck that shit & pardon my French. It ain't going to happen... But she didn't take "no" for an answer. Thinking of this extra task brings tears to my eyes still. I hate presentations!! They cause me a lot of anxiety. Now add the stress of preparing a half ass'ed presentation, when I'm already swamped. No. Fuck, no.
Then, there was only 5 minutes to wipe my tears because I had a meeting to chair. What happens during this meeting? A cat fight! Who does that? Granted, the meetings I chair are always surrounding tender issues... this time the topic was: abuse. But why do adults choose to engage in such aggression when we are trying to solve an issue of abuse? Beats me. I was in no mood to deal with this. My reaction? "Hey, let's get back to the issue at hand" *pause* fight continues "girls, stop" *pause* fight continues "please stop this" * pause* fight escalating... A much stronger colleague of mine yells "time out" and that works in shutting them up.
A button falls off my Forever 21 brown lace cardigan. Shit. That sucks.
Running late for my appointment with Dr. Douche-Bag, my physician. Usually she is mean and drills me with questions about my depression and eating disorder. Today she made me cry. But actually did something I've been wanting her to do for a while... thank you Dr. D!
It's dark, I'm ready for home... except home is on the other side of the world. What do I mean by that? Well... Dr. D is located in the West end... Home, the East end. For the bus, that's two transfers with only one of those buses being a main one, the others run every 30 minutes. Needless to say, but I'm going to say it... I waited in the cold for an hour total + more crying in the dark sketchy bus stop + sat on the buses for over an hour... that's two plus hours to get home + cold feet which equals the total of sucking of balls.
Got home, Chris fed me, I showered, I stared into space... read a bit, now summing up my day.
Thank you for staying with me during that awful rant. And I hope you all had a better day than I did.
8 comments:
Those waiting times at the bus or anywhere, I'm a call away and I will be there even if is to listening you to cry so you know that you have someone there on your side who loves and cares for you. <3.
Sweetheart- I am so sorry that you had such a shit day! Just remember that "tough times never last but tough people always do!"
We will make sure you have a fabulous time next week and we will drown all our miseries away in great conversation, fierce fashion, yummy food and perhaps a cocktail or too!
Fell better! xoxo Emily
I'm sorry, honey. Nobody deserves a day that bad. Get some rest and hopefully things will improve.
Put that awful day behind you and remember the people who love you and what you love, that includes the parts of your job where you are the protector and advocate for people who are truly left behind. I love you more than anyone on this earth just call me and cry and scream, you know I will listen anytime...love you boo
sounds like an awful day, hope your friday is better!
Days like that absoluetly suck, and ranting is all you can do. But now it's over, and it gets better *hugs*
And omg yes, down for a blogger meet up for suuuure!
Its good to get th rage on the page. Therapeutic, no?
Hope you feel better!
x
I too hate presentations Ash, I do have a few tips though to make them a bit less stressful.
1. Find time to practice before, for some reason I like to practice them at LEAST 3 times
2. Write down MAIN points in large font, and subpoints in smaller fonts. That way you can at least remember the most important things at minimum and not get your minor and major points mixed up (of course this goes hand in hand with practicing)
3. Memorize the # of points that you have on a certain topic, helps you not forget stuff.
4. I do not even know if you have to memorize your presentation? Probably not though huh? lol...
5. (Super great one!) look at peoples foreheads. Many people get nervous when looking into the eyes of those they are presenting too, looking at thier foreheads is great because it gives the illusion of eye contact for all watching. :D
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