Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I'm feeling like a failure. 

This week I have made a point to visit family and friends after a not seeing them for at least 14 weeks.  The thought that constantly comes to mind and wants to be asked is: "Do you notice the weight I have gained?".  This is something I shouldn't be concerned with, but it is.  It's the reason I have refused to take and post pictures of myself.  That 15 lbs gained is always on my mind and bringing me down. I want to get over it.... I'm not too sure how I can be okay with the new, healthy and curvy me. 

6 comments:

Shybiker said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

We don't need pictures of you; we want reports of happiness.

I'm sorry you're still struggling and in such pain. It's hard not to fixate on the thing that's central to our being.

You aren't a failure. You're a good person striving for better. The mere fact that you're striving means it will happen. Try to be patient as times goes by and it does.

Melrose said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I totally get what you're saying. When I meet up with old friends that I haven't seen in a long time I imagine that's what they're thinking as well.
It's ridiculously hard to get rid of those self-deprecating thoughts, but it comes eventually.

I assure you though, that that's NOT what they're thinking at all, and they're just happy to see you looking healthier.

notice the GOOD things! the colour that's come back into your complexion, how you're not all angular and sharp looking anymore, and how much healthier your hair an nails must look!

Pop Champagne said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'm sure that's not what they think and real friends and family will always love you regardless if you gain or loose 15 pounds. There are some amazing and smokin women who aren't size 0 like Kate Winslet and Queen Latifah. All it matters is that you're healthy and you exercise and you eat well. I think that's the most important thing :)

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

well we didn't notice a weight gain at all, but your sister did mention how good you looked your face was bright and your hair looked shiny...something we haven't seen for awhile...so dont' fixate on people seeing a weight gain because it is not noticeable but the face that has a healthy colour and not gray was! Sorry to be blunt but telling the truth.... you are not seeing what others see and that is the root to this disorder.....I lived it without help like you have... hold onto the wisdom and advice that you learned over the past months..move past worrying that others see something that is not there.... move past it and embrace the beautiful life you have ahead of you!!! <3

Tinfoil Tiaras said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Your sister looks so much like you- congrats on her graduation! I'm sure you look beautiful Ash-when my step-sister was going through weight gain her hair looked amazing and her skin was glowing plus the curves were sexy. With the change in seasons comes the change in body perceptions and attitudes as well.

Polina Kozlova said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

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You look great!!! Im sure your weight is fine!!

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