My nerves are super high right now. In just over an hour I will be meeting with my Manager to tell her about my upcoming health leave and the reason. I do realize that there are rights protecting me from having to tell her everything but I trust and respect her. She has always been a good support and that's what I need right now. It's hard going to work and pretending everything is okay. Last night while hanging out with a work friend (a whole night of de-braiding her hair), I tried to say outloud what's going on to someone who doesn't know. Thought of it as practice. Well I failed and avoided the topic totally.
Another reason for telling her is that I would like her help. The Health Office is giving me a hard time with requesting leave... I feel harassed and violated everytime I leave thier office. When talking to friends with experience dealing with the Health Office, all I hear is horror stories. These reports are beyond destressing. It's hard to imagine while being off, having to provide almost daily reports on when I'll be returning to work and the progress of treatment. I feel like it's none of thier business and that they have no right to continue asking for this information.
Urg. Well starting the work day. Thankfully it's Friday.
4 comments:
hope your talk went well and you can put that behind you. Jumping throw hoops is unfortunately the way things work. Understandably not fair and stressful. Good luck boo
As if you're not dealing with enough already! I'm sorry. It makes sense to tell her if you already trust her and feel you can count on her for some extra support. I hope that makes the whole process easier for you. Either way, you're doing the best thing for yourself by doing all this, so don't let the rigamarole get ya down!!
I'm sorry that you've had such a difficult time from your health dept. I've been reading through your blog/ story and if you don't mind me asking what was/is your ED diagnosis?? And did you find the treatment program you went into (kingston) helpful? How long did you have your ED? What caused you to seek help?? Hope these questions aren't too invasive. Thanks for writing/sharing your story.
Dear Anonymous, thanks for your comment. It's nice to know that I can reach out to others through this blog. Don't worry about being too invasive. Blogging is a form where I try to be as honest as possible so that it's easier to do it outside of this.
My diagnosis is ED-NOS (Not Otherwise Specified) with restricting and purging behaviours. It's hard to say how long I've had an Eating Disorder because as far back as I can remember there has always been body issues and manipulation of food intake. But purging was something I started in the summer after high school/before college.
Also, it's hard to pinpoint a specific reason for why I decided to seek help both times. I think it was a lot of things, plus not being happy and feeling physically ill.
The program I did in Kingston was helpful for me. It didn't cure the disorder. But I came out with a better understanding of EDs and knowledge on healthy diets and behaviours. After the first program, I was able to mostly kick the purging. But restriction is and has always been the most difficult aspect for me to get a handle on.
Hope you are okay.
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