Girl or Boy?!

I just wanted to share some exciting news with everyone.

Chris and I will be having a baby :)  

If you look closely at the chest you can actually see the heart beating.

Sometimes you just have a feeling that there's changes going on in your body... And I'm thankful that I found out I was pregnant early on.  However, keeping it a secret was hard.  I wanted to tell everyone as soon as I found out.  But you always hear warnings from people about the risk of miscarriage and I was scared that it would happen to me.  Now at 12 weeks, which is apparently the "safe zone", I'm telling everyone I can that I'm happy to be expecting a wonderful little baby.  

The first trimester has been going well but can get hard at times... which apparently is normal.  From morning sickness to extreme fatigue resulting in an early bed time, my body has also gone through some other changes too.  I'm no longer able to fit in my favourite tight skinny jeans and a few other items.  It's a little upsetting when people pipe in about not showing till their fourth or fifth month.... or when the books recommend only gaining 20 pounds.  I tell myself that I'm being healthy and eating well... so the weight gain is what is needed for the baby.  While practicing the act of ignorong the people who think they are being helpful but are actually hurtful.  

Image from: http://cheezburger.com/6344745472

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Sunshine...

It might not be sunny in Ottawa but back at home there's enough happiness waiting for me to feel like there's sunshine. Corny. I know.

Chris and I have been spending lots of time training, socializing and playing with our puppy. The results are showing. Our vet is surprised at how social and friendly our Shiba Inu is, especially when they have a reputation of being antisocial and protective of their owners. They also have a reputation of being "assholes" and even though Hojo has his moments, like when he choices to engage in selective hearing or ventures on the counter to eat the butter... he is overall a good dog. And already, we love him a lot.

We have been debating on signing up for obedience classes. But the two of us tend to have different views when it comes to "teaching a dog". Chris is more of a "Cesar Millan" and I'm more of the belief that love and cuddles will solve the bad-dog behaviours.... (but I shouldn't admit to that since it'll ruin my reputation as a Behaviour Technician).

Thankfully, I think we found a Dog School that takes a bit from both of our approaches. It would be fun to have Hojo well trained and to have the options of going for challenging classes like agility.

I can see it now... I'm going to be that crazy dog-lady from the movie, "Best in Show".

Monday Morning...

No one really likes Mondays. The weekends are always too short and Friday feels so far away.

I wasn't looking forward to this weekend... And I won't get into it too much because focusing on the positive is for the better. I will confess that it wasn't as bad as I was worried about. Chris and I were able to spend a lot of time with the family, I got to drive an old BMW and we had a nice afternoon celebrating a birthday.

When Chris woke me up this morning to tell me that it was snowing. I didn't want to believe him and I couldn't imagine how much snow there would actually be. To my surprise and disgust, there's a lot of snow and apparently it will continue until Wednesday. Not cool.

Is it really the weekend?

We've all had them... Those weekends you don't look forward to. The ones that all your time has been claimed by others. Well that's what I'm heading into tomorrow. My anxiety today has been running high as I think about what the weekend will be like. I've been bad, only eating a sandwich today. The non-eating coping mechanism really has to go. And I need to stay strong.

Can't wait till Monday.

An Emo Update

It's been awhile since I've sat down and shared with other what the heck is going on in this head of mine.  Honestly the last couple of months I have been fairly disconnected with myself in attempts to get back into a "normal routine".  

If I'm even more honest with myself, I have had a bit of a slip in terms of eating.  

Even though I wouldn't consider myself as "engaging in symptoms" (a term used to refer to behaviours related to losing or controlling body weight)... I have not been following my meal plan.  It's a hard thing to explain.  But for me, it's has to be a conscious effort to eat my three meals a day with the certain portions from every food group.  As I have emotionally disconnected and focused my energy on the other things in life, my attention to the meal plan has slipped away.  

I don't like to admit this because there are family and loved ones who will be disappointed in me.  I don't want to disappoint people who really hoped that I'd be cured of this by now.  I hoped to be cured of this by now.