Friday, January 27, 2012

When did it become socially acceptable to talk about a woman's weight?

It was one of those days where the majority of my social interactions led into talk about my weight. A subject that tends to cause anxiety and discomfort.

The day started off with a lady grabbing at the side of my stomach, asking why I was gone from work.

At lunch another lady who I barely know decided to ask me about how I gained weight. My answer was as simple as I could put it, which was "by eating". It's funny how people just don't accept truthful and simple answers. She went on, questioning my diet and exercise habits... So I explained that 1) I didn't eat much before cause I was sick, 2) now I eat and 3) there's no specific exercise plan that I am follow, just normal activity. Again, she gave me a look of disfactication, as if I was not telling her something.

The afternoon was when I was tag teamed by a swarm of ladies who bluntly asked why I was away, and why I was underweight before. At work. A small amount of people know why I was gone for six months. Now, after being back for awhile, it seems like more people are trying to find out why. Part of me wants to just be honest and tell them so I can be left alone from the questioning.

The bitchy part of me just wants to tell them to mind thier own business.


Shybiker said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

It's rude for people to comment on this subject unless invited to do so. And yet, as happened to you, people engage in this rudeness all the time. That saddens me. And I'm sorry it happened to you.

Ashelle said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Shybiker Thanks Ally. The only reason I can think of as to why people bring up the weight topic is because it used to be something I would talk about.

Being thin was (and sometimes still is) something I would obsess over and starve myself to achieve this goal. Before when people would mention how thin I was it would reinforce my efforts.

Now that I have worked hard on changing those old, unhealthy beliefs... I need to change my interactions with others. People have noticed the body change, but not so much the changes I've made inside.

I'll probably need to exercise my assertiveness by saying to others that weight isn't a topic I would like to discuss.

Jenarcissist @ the closet narcissist said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

The comment you left is proof of how much you really have changed inside and how in tune you are with yourself. The Ash of that comment is not the same Ash of a few months ago. I'm proud of you, girlie.

I think women are so used to obsessing about and talking about weight when they get together that they don't even realize how much they do it and how much it can reinforce negative beliefs, not only for the person they are talking to but themselves as well. It just keeps perpetuating weight myths and stereotypes and bad body images. Women feel the need to talk about weight with each other as a weird bonding ritual and a way to try and feel better about themselves, I think. Doesn't mean it's healthy, necessarily. They probably assume that because they talk about it all the time, you'll want to as well. I think it's perfectly acceptable to tell them you'd rather not talk about it. It's definitely rude the things all of them took the liberty to say - and grabbing your side?? WTF? But they probably have no idea how it affects you. People often don't think before they speak!

Ashelle said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Thanks Jenarcissist @ the closet narcissist :) Your always too sweet.

I agree that the topic of weight seems to be a much talked about topic with women. Now, when I listen to these conversations I can see how stereotypes and expectations with body image play with a persons self confidence. It has played so much with my own evaluation of self worth, that I can relate well when I see body image toying with someone else.

Somedays it's more difficult than others, but I try to reinforce a more healthy attitude by standing up for "3 square meals per day and regular exercise to get your heart going". But on the harder days, these conversations, comments and touches send me into the negative thinking of the past.

Thanks again Jen xo

Krista said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You don't have any reason to open up to people who won't care enough to respect your privacy and just want to know the nitty-gritty gossip.

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